Pandemic Quotes

People say weird stuff during a pandemic. You read them here first. Or probably not.

Great! It’s probably just a few weeks off from the orchestra.

No way they will cancel next season. 

I thought PPP was a virus.

Wait, we don’t get paid? For how long?

Wait, we get paid for “doing nothing”? I don’t feel like I’m doing nothing.

Zoom is amazing, let’s use that and do some cool projects. 

Is it on? Are we on? Hold on for a few minutes until we see if we’re on.

Zoom sucks for sound.

Zoom sucks for teaching.

Zoom sucks.

Donate here button. 

I don’t need a mask, this is all a hoax.

Wait, one of my relatives just died. Maybe I’ll wear a mask. Sometimes.

That’s a bra cut in half with one strap. Not an N95.

Why can’t management figure this out and just pay us since we’re doing all this cool Zoom stuff online even if if doesn’t sound that great?

How come what those other people did online was so much better than our Zoom stuff?

I’m practicing so much but it doesn’t seem to be helping.

I’m on the couch a lot and don’t practice much.

Personal inquiries/statements (all authentic):

Are you still my friend?

I stopped drinking and now it’s a problem. 

Law school can’t be that hard compared to Juilliard. 

Is this the New Normal? What is the New Normal? Why do people keep saying “New Normal”?

What’s a “reimagined” season”? Why is everyone saying that?

Two days ago my teacher apologized that the dorms wouldn’t open and that all classes will be virtual for the time being. Tuition remains same of course. 

I just gave away the bottle of wine we were going to have at dinner in April. (my personal fav. so far)

Bonus points for any reader that contributes to the comments section.

Hang in, stay safe please- FA

4 thoughts on “Pandemic Quotes”

  1. Do “I” have to contribute to the combined orchestra recording?

    Can someone tell me how to record myself? What platform? Oh it doesn’t matter… I see.

    Wait, why are we playing to a click? Oh wait, we aren’t. No wait, we are. How did 90 iPhones sound like that in the end?! It must be a recording; or the sound engineer is a genius.

    Do we have to show up to Zoom meeting by video? What do you mean “mute” myself? Where is the unmute?

    You have never heard of Deer Hoof?!!


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