**Unlike most of my other entries which have some thoughts on the implications of situations and suggestions, today’s entry is essentially a discussion of why I remain passionate and involved in the arts.**

An interesting thing happened while I was writing my entry yesterday. I got an email from the place I last worked asking if I was interested in coming back to help with the festival for two weeks.

A little background first-I worked at this place for 3 years handling the operational end of concerts and the large outdoor music festival. A year ago Feb, they found out I had been searching for other work, not for the sake of getting out, but to better my lot in life. After the festival was over in June, I was told that they were afraid I would find a job in the middle of the season and that even with the 30 days notice I was required to give, there wouldn’t be enough time to find a replacement and so..adios.

Rather annoying to say the least. But they did give me 6 weeks notice, didn’t hesitate to pay me for my 4 weeks of unused vacation and didn’t impede my unemployment claims. I left on fairly good terms with a general letter of recommendation and they have been attentive about writing specific letters of recommendation for some positions.

On the other hand, unemployment has run out and their optimistic belief I would be snatched up for another job hasn’t emerged. (And I have applied outside the entertainment industry if I thought my skills were applicable.) Honestly, I feel that I should be angrier than I am. I had saved well, so money isn’t an immediate problem and my sister is allowing me to live with her so that is another problem solved. I just can’t be angry at them for the sake of being angry I suppose. I just wonder if that means I have an evolved outlook on life or if I am delusional and insulating myself from my anger.

Outside of examining the whole psychology of the matter, I have started to think upon the way people become enamored of the arts. Despite knowing the negatives full well, people gladly devote their lives to the arts. Even though they know that they will probably end up waiting tables or temping more than performing and will search couch cushions for food money while friends buy houses, they are full of hope and optimistic about their future.

Now even as someone in the arts, I have pretty much viewed these folks as living in denial and self-delusional. It is to escape that fate that I have eagerly embraced my interest in the administrative side of things. I may not make much, but it is steady so I know where rent and food is coming from and I usually get some basic health benefits.

Yes, my current situation belies all that, but it shall not always be so!

But the thing is, as I am sitting here seriously considering going back to a place that fired me, I have come to a renewed understanding of myself and these folks who flock to NYC and LA with the hopes of making it big. In our own twisted ways that defy logic, we can’t help the fact that we love this stuff.

At some point in the life of every person in the industry, someone speaks the phrase “If there is a part of you that can see yourself doing something else…do it.” I still remember the guy who said it to me. At the time, like most people, I was so young and enthusiastic, I couldn’t imagine myself doing anything else.

Now that I am older, more jaded, disillusioned and cynical, I have to say it is still pretty dang hard to imagine doing anything else. Even worse, I take notes and collect information from everywhere I work and interview at with the ultimate goal of eventually returning to teaching people how to do what I have done. Of course, I am teaching them the right way to do things so they are well prepared! I also utter the phrase warning them to turn elsewhere if they can imagine another path with the sincere hope some of them will.

I don’t want any of them to fail, but am certain most of them will experience some very hard times. I just see it as my duty to try to turn from the path those whose love of the arts can’t stand against a doom and gloom lecture in a classroom. Their love of what they do has to be strong enough to ease the pain of the bad times. It is because of my love for what I do that I am tending toward returning to the festival.

I have a real sense of ownership in that festival. I put a lot of effort into it and the successes of each of them were due to me (the problems were due to the weather). As far as I am concerned, the festival belongs to me and the people who preceded me in the job and to those who follow. Even now that I no longer work there, I feel it belongs to me more than it will ever belong to the rest of the staff regardless of how long they work there.

Yes, it is ego, but it is also true. It is physically and mentally draining, but when you are finally able to lift your head again…ah the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment! It buoys you the rest of the year and helps you to forget what you hate about the process by the time the event comes around again.

Because she is entering the fraternity of festival coordinators, I have actually been corresponding with the woman who replaced me and have given her tips to avoid the problems I faced. I had intended to volunteer for the festival day to provide guidance as the woman who preceded me did for me. The fact they want to pay me to do it and will put me up makes the decision seem all the easier. I will be going in knowing my fate, doing what I enjoy, see old friends on the staff and volunteer corps but won’t have to work or worry as much as I have done for past festivals.

Like a love a mother feels for a recalcitrant child, arts people defy all sense and logic for the opportunity to reconnect with that part of what they do that excites them. In the visual arts, there are pieces that people find incomprehensible and that others pretend to understand. Then there are those who smile quietly and say “ah, yes.”

…To the Arts

Thanks to a link from Adaptistration last week, I had more visitors on the first two days of April than I had all of March. In order to retain the interest of all those who visited last week, I figured I had better start using salacious titles for my entries.

Seriously though, I am glad to see so many people interested in some of the things I have to say. I must say I was surprised to see someone from India has been regularly reading the blog since last month. Welcome to you all.

With all the writing and article citing I have been doing regarding the importance of education and exposure in determining willingness/interest in arts attendance and participation, I thought I would do a little research of my own. I decided to speak with my family about how our upbringing has shaped our view of the arts. The process was decidely unscientific, but I present the results in order to generate some thought on the matter.

I have never really had a conversation about the arts with my family. My sisters and mother have seen me perform and discussed those events with me. My mother has often mentioned the many things she used to do to give us fond memories of our childhood and some of those instances involved the arts. I often discuss my siblings’ and mother’s jobs with them, but I think because so much of what I do is behind the scenes, my jobs may be a bit hard for them to understand. The process proved to be an interesting experience and I have to admit to being surprised by some of the things I learned about my family.

Because this is likely to be long, I will give the general results of my survey today and then talk about the implications and surprises that occurred in the course of my discussions tomorrow.

A little background–I am the eldest of 4 children. Because a gentleman never reveals the age of a woman, I will simply say that I am in my mid-30s and my sisters are in their early 30s. My adopted brother is in his late 20s. A year and nine months separate the elder of the two sisters and I and five years separate me from the younger. My mother and sister #1 are both social workers in schools and have master’s degrees. Sister #2 works for one of the biggest ad agencies in NYC and has a bachelors. I didn’t include my brother in this because his educational disabilities and social development have created some obstacles to his arts education and exposure.

I essentially asked some basic questions-Last attended events, gallery, museum; impetus to attend; current participation in arts; importance of attendance in life; impediments to attendance; would background info available in advance online make them more likely to attend.

Mother

I spoke to my mother about her exposure to the arts as a child. She didn’t go to any events until she reached adulthood, but my grandfather would constantly watch and listen to opera and musicals. She also babysat for our family doctor and had access to his record library of classical music and opera.

In bringing us up, she felt the arts were an important thing to expose us to. In addition to playing recording of musicals (no wonder I could sing everything from Camelot 20 years later), she took us to see modern dance (my sister shouted “Mommy they are naked” when members of the Eric Hawkins dance troupe appeared on stage in body suits), children’s theatre, circuses, historic sites, Chinese acrobats and museums. We didn’t have a lot of money so my parents would save Christmas and birthday money an aunt sent to underwrite these trips. My mother played guitar at church services and played oldies songs at retirement homes and street fairs so our house was often filled with the music of practice sessions.

Today she takes singing lessons and sings with a choral group. She doesn’t attend too many full scale professional productions because of the distance, time and money involved. The last production of this type she attended was an Andrea Bocelli concert because I gave her tickets as a gift. However, she does attend school productions and will go to summer concerts at the bandshell in the park and various town and ethnic festivals in the area.

She said having information about the thought process that went into the development of a production would definitely enhance the experience and might cause her to attend something more often. She actually cited examples of how much better she understood something when she knew the director and felt she could approach them to talk about aspects of the show.

Sister #1
Has recently seen the Blue Man Group, Stomp!, Riverdance and a number of jazz shows and festivals with a (now) ex-boyfriend. The impetus to attend was mixed. Some times it was personal interest, other times it was because people invited her. Some of the jazz shows she went to because there were opportunities for her foster children to interact. She also attends ethnic festivals and summer concert in the park type events because she can bring her dog. As far as arts participation, she has been active in a belly dancing troupe for a number of years and intermittently performs at festivals and on cruise ships.

It is important to her that she is able to attend arts events. She says she was a little concerned when she moved from the NY City area to Tampa that there wouldn’t be enough opportunities to these types of things. She said she goes to the Florida Holocaust Museum and various art museums even though the experience might not be the most comfortable and she may not understand the pieces she is looking at.

She often watches how other people there interact with the displays and will attend with people who have more knowledge and interest than she does so that she emerges a little more educated. The biggest impediment to her attendance is cost. She often looks for coupons or discounted performances and dates.

She feels that having information available about a performance in advance enhances her experience and provides a reason to attend. She stated reading about how the Florida Holocaust Museum was created and about the process of collecting the items, interviews and photographs made her interested in seeing the place. She said that learning about the process gave her insight into the passion of the curators and stresses the importance of keeping such opportunities alive. I gave her a greater appreciation of the organization and the effort that was invested in creating the exhibition.

Sister #2

The last things she saw were all in NYC- Christmas Carol, Beauty and the Beast, Rent, Chicago and De La Guarda The impetus for seeing each of them was mixed-friends and in laws invited her to Christmas Carol and Rent, her husband got tickets for Beauty and the Beast and the others she attended with clients.

She doesn’t feel it is particularly important that she attend shows. She did express an interest in seeing The Lion King and Aida, though she wasn’t sure why in regard to the latter. (Perhaps the Disney/Elton John/Tim Rice connection of the two shows.) She also said she was uncomfortable with any show that broke the 4th wall like De La Guarda or Tony and Tina’s Wedding. She isn’t personally involved in any arts activities, though she was in the chorus for a few high school musicals.

The biggest impediment to her attendance is cost and time. (While she works in NYC, she lives in Central Jersey near Princeton. She formerly lived in Hoboken, NJ) She feels the only place to see shows is in the city. She doubts anyone who sees a show outside of the city (be it a tour, a production at a professional house or community theatre) has really seen the true show. She doesn’t often have the time or energy to attend after work. Returning to NYC on the weekends seems too much of a chore.

She might look up background information for a production in advance online, but hasn’t attempted to do so at this time.

That is about all the information I have collected in my interviews. Tomorrow I will discuss what I see as possible contributors to each person’s views and practices and the information about my own family that surprised me.