Every blue moon or so someone (or something) that purports to be part of the classical music business comes up with a sure fire way of grabbing headlines. Yes, in order to save classical music we must thrust classical music into the mainstream! We must make a splash! We must dive right in!!! (are you getting my drift yet?… so to speak?)
The latest example of marketing (sub)genius comes from our friends at a website called OperaCandy (whatever the hell THAT is). Now, honestly, I have absolutely no idea who is behind the OperaCandy website. Matter of fact, I’m not exactly sure what is going on there at all. As far as I can tell it’s some random blog about opera, which makes it about as useless as……. well, this website. But hey, it’s the internets, and everyone and anyone can throw stuff out there. Case in point – you’re reading this right now.
So, back to OperaCandy. Whoever the genius is behind it decided to run a competition. But not just any old competition, mind. No, in keeping with the whole “candy” idea OperaCandy is running the
Honestly, I’m not making this up. Matter of fact, I couldn’t make this up. The idea is:
“Show us your stick…in a swimsuit. We want to see you wave your wand and establish your tempi to the overture of your choice.”
If you don’t mind I shall whistle past the obvious…… uhhhh……. overtones, and just go straight for the …… uhhh…….. jugular. Yeah, that’s it. According to the website if your video is picked you’ll get to be the “Opera Candy Maestro!”
Well, this is too good to resist. This got posted to my Facebook page and the page of every conductor I know, and the threads…… oh my good god, the threads are hilarious. It has, in short, gone viral. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be the Opera Candy Maestro? Certainly I do. So here’s my…… uhhh……….. submission….. with profound apologies to my colleagues at the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra. God, I hope they have a sense of humour….