Now that we’re all back into the season full swing, I thought it would be fun to revisit a popular post from a couple of years ago. Different versions of this list have circulated for years, so again I encourage you to post comments with any suggestions for additional fines\/infractions. Also, it seemed appropriate to add a special management section, just as a sign of the times. Please note all management fines are variable depending on current executive compensation.<\/p>\n
[box size=”large” style=”rounded” border=”full”]<\/p>\n
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[sixcol_five]Creative accounting[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$500.00[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five]Using the phrases “community engagement” or “new model” more than 75 times in one day [\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last] $200[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five]Plagiarizing Henry Fogel (verbal)[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$50.00[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five]Inability to identify Henry Fogel[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$300.00[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five] Referring to ASOL (League) data from 1995 or before[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$250.00[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five]Misinformed pension fund commentary (unintentional)[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$150.00[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five] Comical press gaffes[\/sixcol_five]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_one_last]$25.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five]Any reference to a \u201c20 hour workweek\u201d[\/sixcol_five]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_one_last]$3,000.00[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five]Using the words \u201cDetroit\u201d, \u201cPhiladelphia\u201d and \u201cnew model\u201d in the same sentence[\/sixcol_five]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_one_last]$2,000.00[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five] General overuse of jargon or catchphrases (other than above) [\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$200.00[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five]Loss of more than 10 titled players in one season[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$1,000.00[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five]Loss of more than 25 staff in one season[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$500.00[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five]Premature bankruptcy declaration[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]TBD[\/sixcol_one_last]<\/p>\n
[divider_flat]<\/p>\n
[box size=”large” style=”rounded” border=”full”]<\/p>\n
[\/box]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five]Stupid questions[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$10.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five]Really stupid questions[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$20.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [divider_flat]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five]Musicological Elucidation[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$25.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five]Historical Nitpicking[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$50.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five]Obtrusive Foot Tapping[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$10.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five]Uninvited Conducting[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$15.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five]Questioning Concertmaster\u2019s or Principal\u2019s Bowings\u00a0(strings)[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$25.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five]Comparing Concertmaster\u2019s or Principal\u2019s bowings with\u00a0what\u00a0 Philadelphia did under Ormandy[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$100.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [divider_flat]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five]Insane Cackling at Conductor\u2019s Jokes[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$50.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five]Loud and Forced Phony Laugh at Conductor\u2019s Jokes[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$20.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Unwarranted Beatific Smile While Playing[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$40.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Ridiculously Minute Bowing\/Breathing Questions[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$75.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Conversing With Conductor in Language Other Than\u00a0English[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$95.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Active and Public Nodding in Agreement With Conductor[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$35.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Pencil Behind Ear[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$25.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Conspicuous Part Marking[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$15.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Pencil Clattering on Stand After Conspicuous Part Marking[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$300.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Taking Much Longer Than Entire String Section to Finish\u00a0Minor Bowing Change[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$100.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Obvious, Insipid Consultation of Conductor\u2019s Score\u00a0During Break[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$150.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Reference to Obscure Recordings\/Performances[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$90.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Pretending to Understand Absurd Metaphor During\u00a0Rehearsal[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$15.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Actually Understanding Absurd Metaphor[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$25.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Informing Conductor That They Have More Rehearsal\u00a0Time Than They Think[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$750.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [divider_flat]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five] Playing High Notes Louder Than Possible (Brass)[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$25.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Holding Same 1\/4 Beat Longer Than Everyone Else[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$200.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Discussing Technique During Rehearsal[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$100.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Discussing Technique During Break [\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$200.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Discussing Technique With Guest Artist (at any time)[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$500.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Tiresome, Time-Consuming Anecdotes[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$30.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Tiresome, Time-Consuming Anecdotes About Famous\u00a0Musician (Second-Hand)[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$60.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Tiresome, Time-Consuming Anecdotes About Famous\u00a0Musician (First-Hand)[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$90.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Feigning European Birth by \u201clapsing\u201d into Foreign\u00a0Languages[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$150.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [divider_flat]<\/p>\n
[sixcol_five] Inviting Conductor to Party[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$15.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Inviting Soloist to Party[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$100.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Showing Pictures of Soloist at Party During First Service\u00a0Following Party[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$200.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Warming Up Onstage More Than 30 Minutes Before\u00a0Service[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$50.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Warming Up Onstage So Loudly No One Else Can[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$100.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Warming Up Backstage So Loudly No One Else Can[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$250.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Warming Up Loudly With Solo Part of Concerto To Be\u00a0Performed by Guest Artist [\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$400.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Continuing to Tune Loudly After Everyone Else Finishes[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$10.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Unnecessarily Obvious Insertion of Earplugs[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$15.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Habitual Use of Earplugs Regardless of Repertoire\u00a0(e.g. Pachelbel Canon)[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$65.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Conversing With Management (non-hostile)[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$25.00[\/sixcol_one_last] [sixcol_five] Forwarding \u201cFunny\u201d Email to Other Musicians[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$200.00[\/sixcol_one_last]\u00a0[divider_flat]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Now that we’re all back into the season full swing, I thought it would be fun to revisit a popular post from a couple of years ago. Different versions of this list have circulated for years, so again I encourage you to post comments with any suggestions for additional fines\/infractions. Also, it seemed appropriate to add a special management section, just as a sign of the times. Please note all management fines are variable depending on current executive compensation. 2011 Bonus Section: [box size=”large” style=”rounded” border=”full”] Management Fines [\/box] [sixcol_five]Creative accounting[\/sixcol_five] [sixcol_one_last]$500.00[\/sixcol_one_last] … Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"generate_page_header":"","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-696","page","type-page","status-publish"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insidethearts.com\/nondivisi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insidethearts.com\/nondivisi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insidethearts.com\/nondivisi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insidethearts.com\/nondivisi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/34"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insidethearts.com\/nondivisi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=696"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/insidethearts.com\/nondivisi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/696\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insidethearts.com\/nondivisi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}